I’m learning how to forgive

When I get mad at you I try to forget your love.

When I get mad at you I forget myself.

When I get mad at you I attach myself to the dark side of us, the one I hold up proudly when I love you because it got us to this time and space.

But then I get mad at you and I feel like throwing away all our memories because I love you and it hurts.

Mi estado favorito es la calma luego de la tormenta. El cosquilleo que siento en mi cuerpo cuando salgo a caminar después de que la lluvia limpia la ciudad, y que sin importar lo fuerte que el sol esté brillando, there’s a shadow behind every being. And at this point you can’t ignore the chaos the storm created nor the blessings it brought with her. 

Así me siento contigo, cuando me enojo desprecio tanto lo que me haces sentir that I hate us both. The anger eats me up from the inside and it makes me cry, and yell, and I break down until everything stops… I say forget about you but now I feel the small spine of your love in my heart. Then I realized it wasn’t hate, it was love all along. I was mad at your love for not being soft. I was mad at myself for not being worthy.